Nervous about nevers

You’d think I’d learn, particularly since the lesson has pounded me on the head repeatedly. There’s even a “law” that covers it. The basic premise of the law of attraction is that what you focus on materializes in your life, though perhaps in a different form than you anticipated.

I’ve been contemplating what part the “law” plays in my own life. So many of my “I will never” statements have become the experiences I look back on with surprise.

I’ve become nervous about nevers. Here are five reasons.

Two Golden Wedding Rings

Two Golden Wedding Rings, photo from Photos8

1.  I will never marry

My mother was a gem of a woman, but she ended up parenting two children on her own. If it could happen to her, it could happen to anyone.

Not me, I vowed. Never.

That was two marriages ago. After the second, I swore I would never enter another relationship, even though both marriages were to men I’m happy to have had in my life.

Last month my new partner and I celebrated four happy years together.

2.  I will never live in the country

Pioneer Ranch

Pioneer Ranch in British Columbia's Cariboo

When I was a child, visiting friends’ farms was fun. I loved playing in the hay, exploring the fields, even helping prepare fruits and vegetables for canning. But live on a farm? Never.

Then I married someone who yearned for a small acreage and then a larger, more remote property. I dragged my feet, but I went and I thrived.

Now I live in an urban high rise, but sometimes I wax poetic about quiet beauty, wildlife neighbours, and domestic animals, which leads me to…

Belted Galloways

Topsy, a Belted Galloway, and her newborn calf, Pioneer Ranch

3.  I will never be tied down by animals

The thin edge of the wedge was a pup. It was a wedding gift from my stepson. He figured a small farm needed sheep, and sheep needed a dog. He bought us a border collie pup.

That first crack in my “never” was followed by chickens, turkeys, pigs, ducks, geese, horses, mules, cows, more dogs, and cats.

When two camels came into my life, I knew it was time to head back to the city, but I miss living with animals.

4.  I will never travel to Australia

Yarra Valley

Beautiful Yarra Valley in Victoria, Australia, wine country

When I graduated from high school, Australia still had two pay scales, one for men and one for women. I crossed the country off my travel list, permanently.

Then I met this lovely man from Australia. Though he has lived in Canada forty years, he always gets a tear in his eye when he hears the song, “I still call Australia home.”

So in late 2008 we headed for Australia to spend time with his twin brother in Adelaide and his children and their families in Melbourne. He told me Aussies were extraordinarily friendly. He was right.

Oh, and did I mention I swore I would never cruise? Cooped up on a ship with all those boring, spoiled people, and likely seasick the whole time? Never.

We cruised to Australia and back, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

5. I will never blog

When I first heard about blogging, I thought it was one of the silliest, most narcissistic occupations anyone could undertake. Sitting around scribbling nonsense and actually hoping someone would read it? Ridiculous!

Now I have three. The first, Crossroads, was a way to record our eight-month sojourn to Australia. People actually read it. I was hooked.

Six months after we returned I started Story Route and Catching Courage and began using Crossroads as a catch-all for anything that didn’t fit the other two.

And, of course, I was never going to use Facebook or Twitter. (You guessed it. Those are like links to my Facebook and Twitter sites.)

Nervous about nevers

Recently I caught myself saying “never” again. I can’t even remember why, but I do remember a sudden shiver down my spine.

I wish I could remember what it was because I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen.

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11 comments for “Nervous about nevers

  1. Sharon Currie
    June 17, 2010 at 11:44 am

    Cathryn:
    Like yourself, never was a well-used word in my vocabulary. Now I promise never to say never again. Bring on the challenges!! Thanks Sharon

  2. Monique
    June 17, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    love it! thanks for sharing cathryn.

  3. Robin Jarman
    June 17, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Oh how you hit the nail on the head again. Well written.

  4. June 17, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Why is it I can’t remember to repeat endlessly, “I will never be rich. I will never be rich.”

  5. Carol
    June 17, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Ah, but Cathryn…you ARE rich…with words,your spirit, caring, time invested so valuably in so much that brings joy to life and to us all. So please keep up the “nevers”….life has a way of moving our “boundaries” to include all that we “never” anticipate being an expansion. So beautifully expressed, thank you, – you touch the common chord in us all. Still, you might be onto something…”I will never be rich…”

  6. June 17, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    No wonder my heart lifts when I see your name in my inbox, Carol!

  7. paula kully
    June 17, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    This is a perfect example of the old expression “never say never”!

  8. June 17, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    I like the “I will never be rich”idea, too! And Carol is right about how rich you are, Cathryn, and how riches just pours on out to us who read your blogs. You open doors to room after room of gold!

  9. June 17, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    I’m really overwhelmed and grateful. So many people stopped me today. Others e-mailed. And then these wonderful comments. My cup’s running right over! Thank you to all.

  10. Liz Weir
    June 18, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    Ah, Cathryn, you know most of my “nevers” and I am about to break one of them!

  11. Tess
    July 3, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    I am laughing at the contradicatory tricks the universe loves to play… hugs

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