He’s back. One of my favourite humorous writers has sent another poem. We’re surrounded by things that beep. The irritating sound is meant to alert us to some problem or other. Here’s what happened to Sterling Haynes.
Beep — Beep — Beep — Beep
I am becoming an alarmist?
On my 83rd – it just snuck up on me,
my gawd, it wasn’t intentional!
My house is wired for sound, that
sometimes goes Beep in the night.
It wakes a deaf octogenarian,
who can’t find his glasses.
Many questions are pondered?
Is the sound inside or out?
a truck backing up? a burglar alarm
on my car? or in-my-house beeper.
My wake up alarm clock or
the smoke alarm, perhaps change the
batteries? The carbon monoxide
detectors scream, my dog howls.
Call the gas company, evacuate
the house and neighbors too.
I have all the alert devices,
on the wall, on my wrist or a necklace
should I fall, stroke out or stop
breathing. I am overprepared for
life’s catastrophes. False alarms give
me panic attacks which promote
“flight or fight,” a call to arms – alarme.
I have never cried wolf, where is the
the danger? I am an alarmist now!
Where is that damn sound coming from?
My computer, furnace or the hot water heater?
©2011 Sterling Haynes
Note to e-reader fans. Sterling’s Wake-Up Call: Tales from a Frontier Doctor is now available in digital formats.